The 4-letter word H-E-L-P. How difficult it is to use. What does it mean to you? When was the last time you said it? Does it feel like you will appear stupid, inadequate or lacking in some way? Less than? Think back to the times when you didn’t stick your hand up in class even though you had no idea what was being discussed. How did that feel?
So why is it really difficult for some to ask for help? What do we lose by not asking for help?
In this society of self-sufficiency we are expected to just ‘know’ everything. When looking for jobs everyone wants ‘experience-d’. Divorcees want to marry others who have been married so that they ‘ know’ how to be married.
We expect our spouses, friends colleagues to ‘know’ what we are feeling or thinking at any given moment in time. We are expected to ‘know’ how to react in any given situation.
We are supposed to know how to do everything and many consider asking for help as being a sign of weakness. A lessening of themselves and their abilities. What if their boss or team finds them to be less than? Does it take away my power? Does it diminish me in some way?
We don’t ask for help because pride gets in the way. Pride of appearing to not be the person who knows it all. Who is able to handle everything that is thrown their way. Pride at not exposing our weaknesses.
What if the idea of asking for help was in fact making you more powerful? Try and think about it in another way. Asking for help opens so many doors that you shut for yourselves. It gives you power. It allows you to feel free. To be able to let go of that breath that you are holding so hard so that you can hold yourself up on your own. It is just a 4-letter word yet so powerful. Powerful in not using it and powerful in using it.
You may feel an imposition on someone. If you ask for help you will discover that most people actually WANT to help you. Asking for help allows you to open that little window that lets people in.
So my request for you for this week is to practice saying that 4-letter word at least once a day. Actually say the word. HELP Me. Please can you HELP me. I need you HELP.
See what doors this opens up for you. I can assure you of one thing. It will open more doors than you would think. You will feel more connected to the people around you in your life. They will feel better connected to you.
Being vulnerable allows room for intimacy. More to come on Intimacy next week. Until then, love on, open up and have fun!
